Do you remember that song from way back when? That Christina Aguilera one about how she is a fighter? Go on, refresh your memory.
Confession: I kinda like the song.
Confession: I am a fighter.
In the confines of a relationship, I believe in it, I do it and I advocate for a good fight. Conflict can often be your best friend, you just need to know where and when to meet it.
Once friends fight and get over it, it is like putting a ring on the friendship. If you ask any of my closest friends, at one point or another, there has been arguments, tears, snaps back and forth, eventual ‘Sorry. It’s okay’ moments, multiple hugs and the raising of the white flag for the world to witness the unwritten commitment just made to stick it out.
You may judge me for saying this, but here goes….
I have lost only one friend. One friend in 30 years.
I’m not talking …loosing touch with the girl who sat behind you in Math class in high school. I mean this- we were once friends, call you in the middle of the night, cry about the lingerie not fitting friends. And now we are not.
It was painful. There was conflict about something. I wanted to talk it out and she didn’t believe in fighting.
I couldn’t understand it. If you care about someone, how can you not fight to keep that relationship? Even if it means fighting with each other?
This is the thing about fighting. If you do it right, it only ever leads to good.
Putting down your pride.
Picking up forgiveness.
If you do it wrong, it is like a bad storm that destroys everything in it’s path to the end. And all that is left is devastation.
Setting up your tent in the past.
Face to face with failure.
In my experience, fighting done right has this one underlying principle:
If you remind yourself of that once in a while in a middle of a fight, you often communicate better, kinder. You try your hardest to compromise and see things from their perspective.
Fight hard, Fight fair and Fight kind, my friends. But really, don’t be afraid to fight for that which you love, and with whom you love. Because it will always remind you, that your love is better. And who doesn’t like that reminder?