My take on having real conversations, written for Kin....
We are all so connected, but often with very little credit to conversation.
Let me tell you what I mean. I take public transport at least two to three times a week. Most often I get on and think “who will be awake right now? Who can I call or text ?” If no one answers, I give in to some form of social media to see what these sleeping beauties have been up to. My head is often down until I raise it in panic, wondering if I have missed my stop. It’s usually close.
I sit next to strangers who could be friends but I never make the effort to start a conversation because I already feel satiated with connection through a screen and virtual buttons. How has my life come to this? Why do I choose to validate myself through comments and likes and not through nods and eye contact?
Do you do the same? Let’s make a change together. Let’s make a pact, a cyber pinky swear of sorts to look people in the eye and start conversations.
|CONVERSATION| it is such a beautiful art form, almost like a dance of speaking your own vulnerability and listening to the other’s, a give and take, rhythmic measures of grace and a perfect example of love in action.
If I think of some of the best conversations I have had, they have three basic things in common:
1. Comfortable: we are most often in comfortable spaces, safe spaces, and feel at ease with each other. I can’t remember the last time I had a memorable conversation with someone that made me nervous. But don’t get me wrong, comfort does not mean a lack of …
2. Challenge: sometimes it takes equal parts of 'heart to heart' and 'head to head' to make for stimulating conversation. I love conversing with someone who respectfully challenges my world views, so much growth can happen in those moments. It is so okay for someone to argue my ideas as long as they…
3. Care: this is the big one. It doesn’t matter where, when and with who, if I feel cared for, I leave feeling like I have had a good experience. Care can come in the form of truly listening, a pat on the shoulder or not getting distracted by someone spilling ice cream on themselves. I notice when someone makes me feel like I am the only one in the room. And I am sure you do too.
Good dialogue can be life giving, a turning point. The in between moments of unedited truth, sometimes the stuttering and the mundane, and even the silence, albeit awkward are the moments where we really bare our true human selves to each other.
Join me in this crazy idea of a little less Facetime and a little more face time, would ya?